The Christmas Present Trap

The missus and I were discussing the purchase of various items as presents for relatives and friends for Christmas, this all took place the last week of November and the first week of December. As the time went on, it was clear that the shopping would be completed before mid-December. Nice, if it were left to me it would have been done over the fornight before the event. So now I get earache for 'not helping with the Christmas shopping'. Having a bleat about that isn't the purposeof this blog entry, though. The purpose is to provide a warning.

You see, during those discussions, we came to the conclusion that not only did we not know what to get each other, we couldn't decide what we each wanted. So we decided not to get each other anything just yet - we'd wait until the January sales are in full swing (my missus is a black-belt at shopping; if it aint got 75% off, it aint gettin' bought). So here's the danger; PAY ATTENTION BLOKES! If the missus says she's not getting you anything for Christmas, and says you're not to get her anything completely ignore this. The last thing you want to be doing is be sat around the Christmas tree on Chrismas morning, the kids are quietly (yeah, right!) opening their presents, there's stuff for your mum, for her mum, presents for and from both your families and she turns round to you and says 'this is for you' and hands you a present. Then you look a right plum. And you'll be in the dog house until it's her birthday.

It's a very simple rule: if she says you're dont need to buy her a present at Christmas, she's lying, buy her one anyway and make her look a chump in the unlikely event that she's telling the truth! The good news is that if she's said this, she's not exactly expecting the earth, so you can safely get her something cheap that you like - just make sure it's wholly for her, not to share, not for the house, and isn't soap-on-a-rope. Buying her kinky underwear is out too - remember that's a gift for your enjoyment. Even if she was telling the truth, instead of making her feel bad when you give her the gift, tell her that you weren't going to get her anything, but you saw it and thought it would be just right for her, and you'll get her proper present later.